and i'm "ok" with it. It's been a beautiful (almost) 9 months...and i LOVED every single minute of it. I think i might finish off the full 9 months...and go back to being, Me. Not that breast feeding wasn't me...but it was a very big responsibility...and i'm definitely happy i was able to go this long. I think if my situation was different, and i was a SAHM, i might continue...but pumping at work---gets a little, annoying....and i think it might be time to change that.
I loved everything about it....I loved how easy, and convenient it was...how i didn't have to wake up fully in the middle of the night to "make" a bottle. How i still, wake up, and pop aj on...and i can still get a few minutes of extra sleep. I am a huge BF advocate. I really do believe that Breast is Best...and i would advise ALL of my friends and family members to do it. It's one of the BEST things, and Hardest (at the same time) things i've ever had to do
I'm not going to lie, the beginning was pretty scary/painful/exhausting....I didn't know how people actually did it, for the long run. I felt like i was doing it all wrong...because everyone told me...if it hurts, you're doing it wrong....
WRONG! Breast feeding HURTS. I don't care what you say. Aj was doing it RIGHT and it STILL hurt. It felt like razor blades were cutting off my nipples...and the SORENESS...followed by Clogged ducts...followed by waking up in the middle of the night, covered in your OWN milk....and the TEETH...oh man! I can go for hours....but then again, i think of all the great times. The times i've sat, and starred at my baby. The closeness....there is NOTHING better than that of watching your baby fall asleep in your arms, while breast feeding. And still, to this day...Aj...crawling up to me in bed, and pulling my shirt down to take a sip, like i'm some sort of sippy cup! The fun! The laughs, the tears....
I loved every minute of this experience, and i wouldn't change it for the world. Aj has still (knock on wood) never had a fever....and he's never had a cold, or been sick in any way. I do think it has to do with the breast feeding. He's an amazing eater...and eats EVERYTHING...and ANYTHING...and i think it also has to do with the breast feeding. I think he might be a little advanced, with things he does-and i all think it ties into this....
I work 10 hour days, which means i have to pump at least twice a day....and the time, and the situation is just getting a little annoying. We don't have a designated pumping room-so i pump in the handicap stall in the ladies room. It's funny, all the women know it's me in there now...i will be pumping and if they come in to use the bathroom, they always say "Hey Cole! How's it going in there!"...lol. But, i'm just getting a little Ugh...idk...annoyed at the situation. If i had Aj with me...i wouldn't mind. I would breast feed him ALL DAY LONG...but the pump, kinda gets to you, after a while...and i really do think this is one of the BIGGEST reasons I'm going to decide to stop. I am happy that this pump has allowed me to go this long...but i am going to be happy to not use my 20 minute break to sit in a stall, twice a day.
I was thinking of continuing the morning and night feedings, but i heard it's a little difficult, especially with so much time apart...have any of you ladies successfully done this? Any of you girls pump at work? Do you always feel a little guilty leaving this part of your life behind? :(
Oh my gosh....This is my LIFE. I'm 10.5 months in, and my original goal was a year....But I'm not sure I can do it. My little one eats SO much. I thought all the "real" food would slow down her desire for milk, but nope! She just wants both! and I'm not sure I can keep up for much longer. I too would love to keep just the morning and night, and bail on all the pumping (oh my gosh the pumping....10 months later I have a laundry list of the terrifying places I've had to pump. I almost wept tears of joy when traveling the other day when I found a room- with a chair, and an outlet, and a LOCK ON THE DOOR. Heaven I tell you.) but I'm not sure how to wean to that level... Do I switch out to formula for the mid-day bottles? Will I even make enough milk for two feedings if they're spread apart that far in the day? Will I always wish I sucked it up and kept going for one full official year?
ReplyDeleteSo much to think, and over-think about. But you're doing good, mama. And should be so proud for what you've accomplished.