It's scary. I always thought of having a baby...but i don't think it freaked me out...quite like this. I don't think you really know how to react...it's such a beautiful thing, to bring something into the world...but very scary, since it will be my first time. Caring for a demanding newborn/infant...is much different than anything I've ever had to do...so I'm asking...are my feelings normal? I am actually so scared of the new 'change' that is going to take place...in my home...with my family...and with my husband and I.
Mr. Cole and i have such a great relationship. AT least, I'd like to think we do. We talk...we laugh, and we hardly ever argue. I mean, we are normal...we do have disagreements, but the past 9 months have been amazing. This 'thing' (yes, i said it...i called my unborn a thing!) growing inside me has awoken a different kind of love. A love that i never knew i had for him....and a love, I've never knew he had for me. We've been really great...at making decisions and planning. I never knew i could love him...more than the day i married him-but now, i love him a million times as much, maybe even more. Watching him care for me...and watching him care for someone he doesn't even know yet...and planning...and being excited...it's so amazing to have someone so supportive and loving. I don't know how Single Mothers (my mom) do it. Without the love and support of a partner. I love him more than anything...and it scares me that soon...this little person...will be the center of my life...
Am i normal? I know I'm going to be a great mother...but I'm nervous about the changes it's going to create in my marriage, with my family (mother/brother/sister in law/mother in law-etc.)...obviously a positive one...but still just a little scary that something is going to change. It's been about ME this whole time (or US)...and now, it's going to shift...in a good way...but still-is a little scary.
As i drive to work everyday (the past week or so), i look in my rear-view mirror, and think-in only a few weeks...there will be something permanently occupying the back seat. Something crying, sleeping, singing...and I'm nervous all over again. I know i can do it...it's not that i can't...it just kinda gives my heart a flutter...
Oh another note, I've been reading lots of things regarding homemade remedies for children...and ran across this blog. I found this awesome post about homemade Natural diaper cream and lotion. I think I'm going to try it...i just have to track down some of the ingredients. Have any of you ladies ever actually made something similar? Are any of you curious to make homemade/natural lotions soaps for your children?
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