Last night was a memorable night for My husband and I. My family threw me a baby shower dinner party (for just family and close knit friends). I can honestly say, the night went off pefectly. First...i'd like to say, My husband and I both come from broken homes. I wouldn't say 'broken'...i guess, it sounds worse than it really is. We were both products of divorce...so we've technically had really difficult time when it comes to rounding up the troops. There is always so much tention when it comes to seating arrangements and making people happy...so the past year and a half has been kinda difficult. From Bridal shower, to wedding, and now, baby shower. It's so weird to put all these people in a room...who love us...and want to share in our joy...and for us to feel comfortable enough for them to all want to be in the same room together. However, last night...was different....it wasn't about them---it was about him.
My mother has always been a very strong person. She's always been very stern...and hard...and serious. Well, at least---to the outside world. I guess maybe she's had to be that way...since she raised my brother and I...and she had to be both "Mom & Dad".
I'm sure it's never been easy...since my father and mother broke up when i was only 10 months old. As hard as it was...i guess, it sort of made her a very 'hard'. She was stone! It's just been her way...and i never thought of it...until last night.
Last night, my mother was glowing. She was happy. I wasn't the only one who noticed it. My mom actually laughed, and smiled...and was HAPPY. I think this baby is bringing something out of her...and he's not even here yet. I think-this is the begining of something good....a place she's never been...a place of letting go...a place of being happy. She was able to be civil, although, she always was kinda 'ok' with being in the same room with my father-just--a little less serious, and a little more-'happy'. It was nice seeing my two 'seperate' families interact...and seeing their faces. They were all happy because of *Him*. He's already added so much happiness to our lives...and we havent' even met him.
I have decided that this is a big step for me. A big step to move in the right direction. A better *me*...to not be so SERIOUS...and be less DEMANDING and more HAPPY. Afterall, life is too short. Everyone who was part of our night---was supposed to be there.