Thursday, April 26, 2012

Dear Aj.

Dear Aj,
I've decided to take a day out of the week to write to you...this way, one day-when you're older we can read back on all of the letters together, and smile.
You are 4 months and 11 days old...yet...i can't even remember as far back-when you were NOT in our lives (only 4 months ago!). Isn't that crazy? I feel like you've been with us all along!!  Every day, you are changing.  Two nights ago (when i got home from work), you actually cried for me.  You were on the bed with Daddy, and i left the room to get something, and you cried. At first, i thought you were just crying for something else, but when i came back in the room---you stopped crying and smiled.  I thought i was crazy, so i did it again---and you cried again!!! My heart melts for you, my sweet baby. The way you look at me...the way you laugh! I don't think anyone thinks it's as adorable as I do. I was the first person to ever make you laugh...and now, you laugh all the time.  Now, you're laughing without being tickled....oh how i LOVE that laugh!!
You have taught me so much baby! Isn't that crazy? You're teaching me so much, yet you don't even know how to talk or communicate with me yet!? You're teaching me to slow STOP, and enjoy the minutes, the hours, the days.  You're the one making me appreciate all the little things, like the days i spend with you. In a few will be the anniversary of the day i found out i was pregnant.  Baby, I was so scared! I don't know how i could be scared of you! You have been the best thing in my life, and i wouldn't change it, ever. As i type this, my eyes are filling up with tears because, I never knew a love like this even existed. It's in my soul, it's in my heart...something i can't even begin to describe.
Let me tell you a little about where you are in life right now: you have not yet rolled over on your own...but you are trying! I am happy about it! I want you to stay this tiny forever! It's a little selfish of me...i know.
A few weeks ago, i was hoping you would outgrow of the "crying" faze (you did a lot of crying between 8-14 weeks) , and thankfully you did. You're such a pleasure now. You don't really cry for anything, unless you are tired or need a diaper change (at least those make sense, you used to cry for NO reason and Mommy was a little stressed out! :( ).
Yesterday was the first day you ate solids (rice cereal)...and to my surprise, you were a PRO! YOU KNEW EXACTLY what to do! It's like, you were born to do it! You opened your mouth! and swallowed. You didn't even make weird faces! You actually LIKED IT! I am being a little selfish, hoping you would continue to breastfeed forever (yes, i am enjoying that time)...but i know you are ready for the next step.
Speaking of breastfeeding--you are NOW more aware of your you actually want to eat and look around, all at the same time. You've started clamping down on me...which has been *quite the experience* to say the least. Thankfully, NO TEETH yet...but i can see you're starting to rub your mouth a lot and chew on EVERYTHING! I am not looking forward to watching you in pain.  I am starting to look at some all natural remedies and things to help you through this time. The thought of you in pain, makes me seriously ill. :(

Anyways Aj, i want you to always know how much i love you...and how happy you make me! Thank you for showing me what true love means.

I love you sweet boy.

Your Momma

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